Category: Writing

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21 Days of Posts – Day 18 – Why I Listen to Billie Eilish

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

Day 18! Closing in on the end of this 21 day project! Thanks for sticking with me!

This post will expound on my appreciation for the work of one Billie Eilish Pirate Baird O’Connell, known by fans as Billie Eilish or just Billie. She splashed onto the scene in 2015 when she dropped Ocean Eyes on Soundcloud much like a previous artist I wrote about back on Day 14, Marshmello. She collaborates and performs shows with her brother Finneas, who produced Ocean Eyes for its publication on the previously mentioned music website.

Why, oh why, you ask, do you like this odd, unpredictable, earthy teenager’s music? It can be so problematic, so disturbing, so…odd.

Yes, I say, to all of that. Her music can be problematic. She sings about topics many would prefer not to hear about, for a number of reasons. The songs that are free of these disturbing and definitely odd topics are generally incredible. I’ve mentioned before that I not only sing bass, but love to listen to it and Billie’s songs provide that bass groove in spades. Deep, intricate, and imaginative bass lines are a hallmark of her music, as is her breathy, some say ethereal, voice. Oddball rhythms, ambient noise, passionate, but flexible choruses, and probing, intimate lyrics all combine to make some great songs.

I’ll skip any more introduction of the artist. If you’ve heard of her, you’ve probably already checked out her official page and her Wikipedia page. If you haven’t and are interested, the links are right there. I’m going to jump into the recommended tracks portion of this post.

First, the uptempo tracks. You Should See Me In A Crown, Bellyache, and My Strange Addiction all have interesting bass lines, quirky vocals and lyrics, and have a slightly dark overtone to them. The broodiness in the lyrics is countered by the vocal delivery. Watch and its remix &Burn are a little lighter in tone, and both still sound great, whether you like the “rapless” Watch or the “rap enhanced” &Burn. They all will work your speakers hard to reproduce the bass lines.  They’ll get your head boppin’, particularly one infectious bit of the chorus in Bellyache.

Now for the really impressive tracks. These are all downtempo and lot more contemplative. Still quirky at times. I Love You, When The Party’s Over, and Six Feet Under are rich in plaintive narrative about love, relationships, and loss. Billie’s breathy vocals on I Love You, plus the ambient noises and hints of confusion and chaos make it one of my favorite tracks.

Which leaves just a few more tracks that are in the middle between these two extremes. Hostage, Ocean Eyes, and Lovely, a duet with Khalid, are all very atmospheric and experimental at times. They each have interesting lyrics and paint great sound pictures with the instruments. Indeed, Ocean Eyes, with its lush sounds, is the song that started the whole giant swell of notoriety for Billie.

Does her music have issues? A few, yes, but the gems mentioned here are exactly why I listen to her often, as long as I have a good stereo system available. Unless you’re sporting $300 Beats headphones, these tracks will not sound anywhere near as good as they really are. Even then, once you hear these songs on a good system, feeling the bass right in your chest, headphones don’t do them justice anymore.

Thanks for reading to the end! I hope you enjoyed this post and maybe found a new artist you like.

Three more days of posts to go! Come back tomorrow to learn more about my writing style, then we’ll finish with two articles on relationships and faith.

 

Photo Credit – crommelincklars – Billie Eilish @Pukkelpop 2019

 

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21 Days of Posts – Day 17 – Contributing Talents to the Church

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

Welcome to Day 17! This post is about contributing talents to the church. It’s just a few thoughts that have been rattling around in my big, empty head for a while.

This post is about talents. That sounds redundant, but I want it to be clear that I’m not referring to spiritual gifts. Those may or may not line up with talents. Spiritual gifts are generally separated into the following cubicles – prophecy, teaching, service, wisdom, faith, distinguishing of spirits, speaking in tongues, and interpreting tongues. Other gifts that are listed at times include administration, mercy, and miracles (I selfishly kind of want that gift). These are NOT what I refer to in this post.

I mean talents, like singing, playing musical instruments, drawing, painting, crafting, writing, speaking, acting, and more. These talents could be natural, or learned, or both. Between talents and spiritual gifts, a church member can generally find their niche in the body of the church. I wrote about that yesterday. Not all talents are directly or obviously applicable to the needs of the church. The ability of a church member to make really beautiful pens from turning wood is not a weekly need of the church to fulfill its responsibilities. However, when those pens are donated and sold and those funds are made available to the church, that talent both enriches and is enriched by the furthering of the church mission.

Other talents are obviously useful. The talented members of the worship team, from the singers and instrumentalists on stage to the technical wizards who make the sound, video and lights all work together, are an obvious asset to the church. The giving of the member’s time and talents enhances the worship experience, bringing the congregation as close to the throne of God as possible every Sunday morning. The teachers and leaders who are in each classroom every Sunday employ their talent to teach and reach others, which ties in neatly with the spiritual gift of teaching. Without them, there would be no real connection between members, as it is impossible to develop close connections in a large worship service. Connections require smaller groups, more intimate conversations, and the building of trust and respect.

The church would be very inefficient, possibly even dying, without the diverse talents of its members, who contribute to the mission of the church and help to keep everything running smoothly for those who are unaware of all that goes on behind the scenes and in front of everyone to make church happen. If you are not yet contributing your talents to the church, I challenge you to consider how you might. What do you enjoy doing? I would bet that there is a job that needs done in the church where your skills and talents would be useful. Pray today for God to show you what that is, or if you already know, that He give you the resolve, or the courage, to contribute that talent to the church. You will be blessed if you do.

Thanks for reading to the end! Tomorrow’s post will be another peek into my musical tastes and the following day another insight into my writing style. We’ll finish the 21 days with an exploration into connections between people, and another look at the Christian life.

Photo Credit – Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 15 – Why I Write About Impossible Decisions

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

Day 15! Woot! We’re moving along in this 21 days of posts.

First, I want to thank you for reading these. It’s fun writing them and I hope they are fun to read.

Today’s post expounds on why I write about impossible decisions. This is another one of those times, dear reader, where you may say “duh!” because lots of stories, particularly ones we cherish, are all about impossible decisions. We encounter self-sacrifice, heart-rending choices, and “no way out” situations all the time in books, movies and TV shows.

We are teased by these moments, because they invariably occur at the end of a chapter, or at the end of a movie in a series, or at the end of the current episode of our favorite show. We’re then made to wait, either long enough to turn the page, or for a whole year (or two) for the next movie to come out, or just a week or so before the next episode. The whole time we are debating in our head “how would I choose?” and wondering how our hero or heroine is going to choose.

Sometimes, a third party intervenes, and the impossible situation or choice is taken out of the hands of the lead character. We’re generally let down by such deus ex machina moments, unless it’s in an action movie, because that’s pretty much their bread and butter. We expect it then. Other times, and these are the ones we actually like more (usually), there is no sudden rescue and the choice, once made, results in loss, heartbreak, or other bad things happening that have to be cleaned up later (or not).

One of the best examples of dealing with impossible decisions is found in the CW show The 100. The show is loosely based on a YA series of books by Kass Morgan. The show runs right past the books in the first season and thank goodness for that. I can’t really recommend the books unless you just want to see the differences. With that said, I can’t really recommend the show to the age group the books were targeted for. There are themes and situations in the TV episodes which take place after the events of the books that are very adult, not “young adult”, defined as 12-18 year olds in the literary category. But back to impossible choices…

The lead protagonist Clarke Griffin, is quickly thrown into a leadership position she really doesn’t want. Time after time during the first season, and even more in later seasons, she must make decisions that not only affect her and the people she considers family and friends, but the entire human race. Your head and your heart ache for her as she is repeatedly forced to make decision after decision, none of which have good choices. I highly recommend binging on the first six seasons before the seventh, and probably final, season starts in April 2020.

Enough promoting a favorite show. The point of all that was to say that it really only takes a few of these gut-wrenching decisions to make a book, a movie, or a show your favorite. We vicariously participate in the decision process, weighing the options, seeing no good one, then trying to find that slim chance to escape the choice altogether. This is why I write these into my books. I want to drag the reader along on a journey with the characters and make them feel what the character is feeling. Done right, this is some of the best entertainment available. I hope someday you all will get a chance to read about the impossible decisions my characters will face.

But that means I have to finish, really finish, a book and as I have stated before, I hope these 21 days of posts help to jumpstart me on that journey.

One last list before this post concludes. If you are looking for books or movies that involve impossible decisions, without resorting to Nicholas Sparks style fiction, I recommend the following items:

The Divergent series by Veronica Roth. You have to read all three books to get the full effect.

A Song of Ice and Fire series by George R. R. Martin. There’s a lot of words to slog through, but the choices and decisions made by multiple characters are intimidating and difficult. I don’t recommend taking the shortcut and watching Game of Thrones as so much detail is left out there, even with all of its adult content.

Rogue One, the best of the Star Wars side story movies, is an excellent example of impossible decisions (and sacrifice).

I hope you enjoyed this post and hope that you maybe found a new favorite show or book. Come back tomorrow as I expound on my thoughts on the church as a body.

Thanks for reading to the end!

 

Photo Credit – Photo by Jens Lelie on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 13 – Chasing The Lion

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

The title of this post sounds like fun..right?

There are people who do exactly that…chase lions, with nothing more than spears in their hands. We see the pictures of the Maasai hunting parties and are horrified to see them seemingly so woefully under-equipped to take on the fierce felines. The hunt is a rite of passage for the tribe and I have to assume that since the tribe still exists, they are successful more times than they are not.

But this post is not about actually hunting living, breathing lions – it is about chasing a big dream and daring to run after it, even when it scares us. It can be argued, as Mark Batterson does in his book Chase the Lion, our big dream should scare us, because we should be dreaming bigger than we could ever accomplish alone. Nothing but the power of God helping us should make our biggest dream possible. Our faith and trust in what God can do is an essential part of “chasing the lion”.

For me, “chasing the lion” this year is the somewhat less important, but still radically scary task of finishing writing a book. It’s a big goal, even with all of the nine or ten works-in-progress I have, because whichever one of those I want to finish will require completion of the first draft, then weeks of meticulous editing. Even after all that is completed, there is the task of selling it, whether I try to publish traditionally or self-publish.

I know, this sounds like a pretty selfish dream. Why chase this lion? Why not chase another, more impactful lion, one that directly helps other people and builds the kingdom of God? I have only one answer to that, and it’s not a great one. I feel that if I can complete a book, front to back, draft to final edit, blank pages to cover art and content, then I can take on something even more monumental. I feel that the lack of a completed book, with so many in progress, is a major failing, one that I must overcome.

Do I hope the book is successful? Sure. Is financial success a mandatory requirement for me to feel like I succeeded? Nope. If I can complete a project of this scope, I feel like I can do anything. It’s somewhat silly, and marginally selfish, but it is my reality for the present time.

That’s my lion.

What’s your lion? What dream do you have that is so big, so impossible to achieve, it scares you? Do you have one? It doesn’t have to be big to anyone else but you.

Don’t tell me about your lion. Just write it down (it really does make a difference to have it written down) and start running toward the dream, not away from it.

Tomorrow is Day 14 and I may be changing the topic a bit. It will still be about music, but I think the artist will change. That post is still rattling around in my big, mostly empty head, so we won’t know until tomorrow.

Thanks for reading to the end!

 

Photo Credit – Photo by Jeff Rodgers on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 8 – Why I Write About Relationships

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

Day 8! Wasn’t sure it was going to happen, given the storms we had around here. Our power was out overnight and estimated to not be back until late tonight. Thankfully, it appears that Georgia Power was fairly conservative with their estimates, so this post will go out on time, which you know already, because your reading it now…aren’t you?

If I was brave enough to include anyone else besides my wife as a beta reader for my books, you would see a common pattern in my writing, whether it is my science fiction stories, my action/thrillers, my fantasy novel, or the others I have started. You would see that regardless of the background circumstances, one of the key elements of my works is relationships.

Duh, you say…all books are fundamentally about relationships. Without relationships, books are dull and characters are uninteresting. Why would I read a fiction book that did not include relationships of some kind? Relationships define characters, determine how characters react to circumstances, and become motivation for the main plot of the story. You can safely argue they are essential to any good story.

For me, as the author, there is more to it than that. I get to explore, in my head at least, and sometimes on the page, relationships that I’ve never experienced. I can write about brothers (I only have a sister). I can write about terrible parents (my parents are/were wonderful). I can write about love triangles, sacrificial relationships, codependent couples, lost spouses, whatever strikes my fancy and contributes to the story.

It’s not a requirement that I experience these things for real, just that I can dive into them in my head, and, thankfully, remove myself from them when I’m done writing about them. It’s another method of experiencing things I’ve never experienced, and frankly, probably don’t want to experience, in most cases.

Who would want to be the man or woman who loses a spouse, or the person whose parents were terrible, or that person stuck in a love triangle, codependent, or otherwise abusive relationship? But how much do eager readers gobble up those experiences in the form of fiction? We can look at the astonishing sales statistics for everything from the Twilight series to the Fifty Shades of Grey series and see how popular these pursuits of broken relationships are. Why?

We can ask fifty different people and get close to fifty different answers, but the bottom line is escape. Escape from this day-to-day life, which for most may not have a lot of excitement in it. This life may not be exactly what they envisioned and they are looking for…excitement? Catharsis? Escape? Romance? A redemption story? A happy ending? Something else?

As with all human pursuits that disregard God, some of the things these readers hope for are only ever fiction. They’re not becoming a vampire to love and live forever, or attracting the attention of a ludicrously rich love interest. However, within the will of God, we can get both of these things, if not exactly the same form as the rest of the world expects.

Our Christian life, lived within the will of God, will result in eternal life (thankfully, not as a vampire), and will connect us to the God to whom everything belongs, because he made it all. We might not gain access to all of that here in this life, but there are far better riches we inherit.

Am I saying that reading fiction is wrong? No, no, no no! There are great stories out there that will enrich our lives if we take the time to read them (or watch the movie), but realizing that the greatest story ever told, that of God and his redeeming love for us, is actually true should remain foremost in our minds as we enjoy the fruits of man’s writing labors.

Thanks for reading to the end! Tomorrow’s post returns to the Christian life, as i mentioned previously, diving into the differences in our plans and God’s plans.

 

Photo Credit – Photo by The HK Photo Company on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 7 – Disappointment

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

If you read the title, you’ll know that today’s topic is, as I mentioned at the end of Day 6’s article, definitely something we all experience from time to time – disappointment. It is as certain as the sign in the picture above.

Other people will disappoint us. That is frustrating. We will disappoint ourselves. That is even more frustrating. At least in the former instance, we had no real control over what the other person did, but we had complete control over what we did, so disappointing ourselves almost always is the more frustrating and infuriating feeling.

What do we do to disappoint ourselves? I can only really speak for myself, so here are some of my most disappointing actions, or inactions (mostly inactions).

  • Getting frustrated too easily with other drivers while driving. I truly over-react to other people’s driving. My family can attest. I’m always disappointed with both the other drivers’ actions or inactions, and my negative reaction.
  • Not posting regularly to my blog sites (this one and my other one). I am hoping to stop disappointing myself at the conclusion of this 21-day fast.
  • Not saying the right thing in my daily conversations. or not saying anything at all, thereby allowing the inclinations of others to dictate what divergent path our conversation takes.
  • Not immediately following the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit in my daily conversations and actions.
  • Not finishing a book…a HUGE, continuous disappointment.
  • Not “taking care of business” in relation to all the things that need done in our (still new to us) house.

It’s a short list, but chock full of typical ways I disappoint myself. You may relate to some of these examples, you may not. The best that I can do is get up the next day, promise myself I’ll do better, and move on.

But what does scripture say about disappointment?

There are a number of verses, particularly in Proverbs where the righteous are NOT disappointed, but the wicked are (10:28 and 11:23 in particular). Job also has some references to this same idea (11:20 and 20:18), but these are very situational.

Jeremiah ran into disappointment with his people over their sin (Jeremiah 8:15)

However…

In Psalms we see where there is assurance and declaration that God will not disappoint us (62:5) and in the New Testament, Peter tells us to cast all our anxiety on Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7) and we will not be disappointed by Him. In Romans we see the declaration that God works for the good of those who love him (8:28), so it is inferred that we should not expect to be disappointed.

But we might be…and bear with me on this point as I believe it is very important. For us humans, down here in the Lower Story, circumstances may occur which do not seem favorable to us (and very well may not be, by all practical measure) and we will want to be disappointed that God did not do for us what we believe he promised. But our definition of “good for us” and God’s definition of “good for us” tend to be very different things.

We have to keep that difference in mind as we move through this life. Yes, others will disappoint us, we will disappoint ourselves, but God will never disappoint us as long as we understand that his plans for us are better than our plans for us.

We’ll dive deeper into this idea two days from now, on Day 13. Tomorrow’s post will provide some insight into my writing process and style, but will unlikely be tied to an obvious spiritual point, but we’ll see.

Thank you for reading to the end! If you have missed any of these posts, you can simply walk back through the previous posts, but I suggest you start at Day 1, or whichever one you missed, and read them in chronological order, or some things may not make a lot of sense, or may seem out of place.

 

Photo Credit – Photo by Oscar Sutton on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 5 – Writing

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

Writing. It has been described in a number of creative ways (imagine that), but my favorite description right now is captured in my email signature and goes as follows:

Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand. — George Orwell

I see where Orwell was coming from, and I, sadly, have not fully recovered from that painful illness, even though I have started down the path many times now. You would think I had developed an immunity by now. I have yet to complete a book. I have ten books in progress, at various stages of completion, from rough sketches to nearly completed first drafts. My wife begs me to complete something and I agree with her on that point.

But every November, I infect myself with a new bout of this painful illness by starting a new book for National Novel Writing Month. Every year I tell myself that this time I will be so interested and invested in my new creation that I will not stop writing even into December, into the new year, into the following spring, but it hasn’t happened yet. Invariably, I convince myself to just take a short break and start back up later in December, but the holidays wrap themselves around my intentions and violently smother them. Every year.

What do I get out of it, you might ask? First and foremost, expression. I can safely write about things I fear, like complicated relationships, impossible decisions, or crushing experiences resulting in broken characters. I can project my deepest, darkest fears onto characters and into situations without having to truly experience such things. Best of all, I can hide behind the well-worn mantra of “it’s just a story”.

Not that every crushing experience, impossible decision or complicated relationship is directly based on my personal life. It’s more like I take some of the experiences I have had and inject fiction steroids into them, wildly over-developing their worst aspects, resulting in some unsettling situations for my poor, broken characters, and for my adventurous readers.

Second, I can remove the restraints from my imagination and devise new technology, new challenges, or even entire worlds. I have to be careful in this though – I can get caught up in world-building and stop writing the actual story. It’s fun to create new things – races, currency, languages (those are tough), places, names, religions, or whatever. I believe the trick is making these imaginary things just similar enough to real things that the reader can make a connection, however tenuous. Lots of fun, but can be very hard and even get in the way of the story.

Third, I can make events, people, and circumstances occur, behave and twist exactly how I want them to. I know you’ve watched a movie or read a book and said to yourself, “why don’t they just do this?”. The simple answer to that question is that there would be no story if the answers to the character’s problems were simple, or that obvious. The reader has both the advantage of not being in the story and suffering under the characters’ circumstances, and the disadvantage of not being able to mold the narrative. They’re just along for the ride. They have to deal with every missed opportunity, or stupid decision the characters make.

But as a writer…I get to determine what happens. I get to throw a wrench into the works. I get control of the things I want and can make them as simple, complex, or stupid as I want, because it is my story. There is immense freedom in this, with only a small catch – I have to make it interesting for the reader. If the good guys always have a backup plan, or no one ever gets hurt, or there is no conflict the hero or heroine can’t handle, then it’s not a story any more. It’s just words on a page. If the story doesn’t make the reader desperate to turn to the next page, I’ve failed. But being the one in charge of it all is nice. I know my story from end to end, backwards and forwards, because I created it. I know the resolve of my heroine, the weaknesses of my hero, the next tragedy to strike. It boils down to a feeling of control. Control is nice.

We like to be in control (at least, most of us). But we know, in this life, we are not in control, and that can be scary. At least as Christians, we know who is in control, and we can rest in peace and contentment knowing that His plans are better than our plans, that he has plans to help us, not hurt us (Jeremiah 29:11). That’s not to say we won’t have pain or suffering in this life, but knowing that God is in control can help us through that pain. It’s been said that if God brings you to it, he’ll bring you through it, and at its foundation, this saying is absolutely true, but “getting through it” may mean something totally different to God than to us. We must be willing to let the author of the world work out his plan for our lives.

Thanks for reading to the end! Check back tomorrow as I expound on hope.

 

Photo Credit – Photo by Mona Eendra on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 4 – Rejection

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

Hello, lucky reader! This post, like yesterday’s, also has a point, but it comes after considerable confession. Welcome to my head again…

Ever feel like those wads of paper in the picture above? They’ve been rejected, deemed unworthy to keep, not even as bad examples, just tossed out.

Rejection happens to everyone at some point in their life. Some of the most successful people on the planet have been rejected more times than they can count. I envy them.

I don’t envy them because they are successful. That’s not my problem. I envy them because they appear not to care they were rejected. They move through their lives with a positive tilt on their acceptance/”rejectance” meter, not because they haven’t been rejected, but because they overcame that to be…successful.

If you know me, you probably know I avoid confrontation at all costs. I hate confrontation. It makes my head spin and stomach queasy. I’ll accept poor service, bad food, bad deals, and more, just to avoid confrontation.

But there is one thing I hate worse than confrontation. You guessed it. It’s our topic of the day – rejection.

Every fiber of my being hates rejection and not just overt, intentional rejection (which is usually for a good reason). It’s the unintentional rejection that hurts even more. It’s the lack of enthusiasm for one of my ideas. It’s the “playing along so he’ll get it out of his system” rejection that crawls all over me and bruises my fragile ego. I’m not saying everyone has to agree with me all the time, far from it (and that would be a terrible thing to do), but reject me or my idea overtly and intentionally so I can at least be sure that is what is happening.

Because that is the crux of the matter, isn’t it? Those of us who hate rejection most likely are not rejected as much as we think we are. We imagine rejection by other people as the norm and assume it in every movement they make and everything they say, partially from past experience, partially from a lack of confidence in ourselves. That’s why including rejection in the building of a character in a novel is essential. Characters who haven’t been rejected, especially in a huge, impactful ways, haven’t suffered enough for most authors (or even some readers).

I know I sound certifiable at this point, but I promise it’s not so. When I concentrate and remember that there is someone who will never reject me (here comes the point!), that someone being Jesus, I am better able to let rejection, real or imagined, roll off my back like eggs off Teflon (wow, that’s an old reference – sorry). Jesus will never reject us if we come to him in repentance and commit to him (Psalm 94:14). It doesn’t matter what shape we are in at the time – hurting, angry, ashamed, or addicted (or all of these) – he will receive us with open arms, again and again and again.

Because we are real good at rejecting Jesus. When we choose our plans and our path over his plans and his path for us, we reject him, crumpling him up (as an idea in our head and heart) and tossing him away. It imagine it has to hurt him. Think about an exceptionally hurtful time you were rejected (just for a second) and imagine that happening over and over. That’s what I think Jesus feels every day from those who reject him, whether they do it maliciously or unthinkingly.

Rejection – it’s not just a character builder, it’s something I try to avoid. However, if we truly live the Christian life, we are guaranteed to be rejected (and hated) at some point. That’s scriptural – check out John 15:18-25.

Thanks for reading to the end! Check back tomorrow as I write about writing – what it means to me and what it allows me to do.

Photo Credit – Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 3 – Romance

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

It’s Day 3 of my 21-day post sequence and I know many of you are wondering “is this just some kind of Internet confessional?” and are about to quit reading from either boredom or horror. Bear with me for this post, as it does have a point.

It is time to play some self-imposed “truth or dare”.

Want to know a big, ugly, weird, juicy, truth about me?

Sure you do…

I’m a heart-fluttering-weepy-falling-over-stupid romantic. Yep, I confess, that’s me. It will never, ever come up unless I bring it up, so here it is. Welcome to my hidden thoughts…

I’m a sucker for a good love song (The Cure’s Love Song or Dave Matthew’s You & Me are good examples), a sad break-up song (Liykke Li’s Possibility* and The Cure’s Apart both prime examples), various Nicholas Cage movies (The Family Man, It Could happen To You, City of Angels), some Nicholas Sparks books/movies, and even crazy stupid romances like Twilight (you are free to laugh hysterically at this point, if you didn’t start laughing at “Nicholas Cage”).

People like me love both the romances that make perfect sense and those that don’t. The real question is why are we drawn to contrivances such as impossible romances? Isn’t love and romance hard enough without fighting social norms, ridiculous twists of fate, and death itself? I would wager we (us romantics) have been fascinated with the impossible romances since even before Romeo and Juliet.

Which is why all kinds of people were drawn to Twilight…all three books and four movies. We’re drawn to stories where it seems impossible any peace or equilibrium can be found in a potential relationship. We’re particularly drawn to stories where a huge sacrifice must be made by one or the other romantic partner, or by both of them, to make the romance work. Twilight has this motif in spades. City of Angels also invokes this theme of ultimate sacrifice in pursuit of love. Sometimes it works out great, a la Twilight, sometimes not, as in City of Angels (oops, mini-spoiler).

We like to see the happy couple stay together forever after overcoming such adversity. Sometimes we get that glimpse, sometimes we don’t. It all depends on what idea the story creator wants us to take away from the story. Does the author want us to believe it is better to love deeply for only a brief moment in time after overcoming all odds, or does he want us to finish the story, or movie, with a perfect sense of “all is well” because the main couple fought and overcame <insert terrible adversity here>? Some would argue one is better than the other. I find them equally satisfying, if the author does their job correctly.

When Harry Met Sally is one of my favorite movies of all time. I tell my wife that is “our” movie. Some couples have “their” song…we have “our” movie. The movie is about friends who eventually become lovers, who eventually marry, but along the way fight with every fiber of their being at various times to reach a different goal. The movie falls into the “leave the viewer happy” category, and not just for the main protagonists.

Other movies, like The Notebook, The Family Man, and City of Angels all show the work and/or sacrifice that went into the relationship, but leave the viewer, if not sad, at least a bit melancholy at the end. We see incredible devotion and love displayed by those in the relationship, and we see them happy, for a bit, then the movie shifts and moves on, just like time moves on.

I have to admit that romance as portrayed in books and movies is usually problematic. That’s part of what draw us to them. My favorite book/movie series to pick on, Twilight, has all kinds of problems and has been lambasted by critics for its glaring relationship issues (but I’ve read the entire series at least three times). Books and movies by Nicholas Sparks are so dependent on outlandish twists of fate that we all usually breathe easier because we don’t have to suffer through what his characters experience. But we still indulge in escaping to those fictional landscapes, if only to shake our heads at the characters as they struggle.

We haven’t even touched on one of the the most difficult aspects of most book and movie relationships, that of the “love triangle”, where gut-wrenching, heart-rending decisions have to be made by the characters involved. Sometimes the author will ease us out of that frightful tension with a unicorn-and-rainbow solution (see the Twilight series, from New Moon to Eclipse to Breaking Dawn), but sometimes they will not (see The Notebook and the decidedly unromantic Hunger Games series), and we have to vicariously experience the heartbreak and fallout from someone’s decision. At least it is vicarious, and not real.

Yes, love, romance and relationships are hard enough without crippling diseases, terrible accidents, and <gasp> vampires. Why do we subject ourselves to the fictional heartache? Don’t we have enough hurt to deal with? Maybe, but we get to experience, and then discard (sometimes with effort) the pain and suffering of another, and maybe, just maybe, experience a taste of unrepentant and wildly ridiculous romance without disrupting our real lives. Catharsis is a powerful tool and running ourselves through the wringer of fictional, impossible romance every now and then is probably healthy (but I’m no expert).

So what is the point, you ask? I remember; you were promised a point. The point is that as much as these crazy, impossible, fictional romances may appeal to (some) of us, the greatest, craziest, most possible of impossible love stories is that of our God desiring to be in communion with us, his children. This REAL love story has it all – a complete lack of equilibrium, an unimaginable sacrifice, even a happily-ever-after. It outshines all other love stories ever written. May the love of God wrap you up in complete contentment, or as complete as it can get on this earth, for the duration of the fast and beyond.

Thanks for reading all the way to the end! I sincerely hope it was worth it to you and that you will continue to read along with my fasting journey.

*This song, I believe, was originally written as a break up song, but the sequence of scenes it is used with in New Moon make it even more wrenchingly impactful. I can’t listen to the song without hearing Bella’s desperate screams of emptiness. Stupid romantic…

Photo Credit – Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 1 – Discombobulation

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1 (this one does), then you should stop now and go read from Day 1. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

It’s that time of year again, when our church conducts a 21 day fast. Each congregant is asked to pick something or somethings to fast from, whether it is food items, habits, coffee/caffeine, or something else. I struggle each year to pick things, as I greatly dislike the two to three day “head is going to explode” feeling sans caffeine, and I don’t have a ton of bad habits to avoid.

I do have some bad habits, like not posting to this site on a regular basis, or writing at all on a regular basis, so I’m going to flip the script and fast from not doing something. I’m going to post something all twenty-one days of this fast, even if it is just “hi” and “bye”, but I will attempt to do better than that.

Today, I feel the need to express my first days of the year discombobulation, which I’ve had for several years now, but seem to be acute this year. Yes, 2019 was a turbulent year, with buying a house, attending my 25-year college reunion, experiencing my daughter’s wedding, being amazed at marking my 25th wedding anniversary (who knew there was someone out there who would put up with me for 25 years?), my youngest child turning 18, and everything in between those events.

So I find myself discombobulated. That’s an expensive word that just boils down to “confused”. I described it as not being able to put all the pieces into a Perfection game, timer or no timer. I’m having trouble with the fact that my annual “to-do” list (what I do in place of New Year’s resolutions) hasn’t changed much in three years, with “finish a book” still at the top of it. “Read more”, “exercise”, and “stay in touch with family” are also still on there, but I did add a twentieth item to my 2020 list – “chase the lion”.

“Chase the lion” comes from the title of a book by Mark Batterson, the full title being –

“Chase the lion. If your dream doesn’t scare you, it’s too small.”

Mark Batterson is the author of Christian inspirational books, about a dozen of them, and while I have not yet read this book, I look forward to it (#3 on my 2020 to-do list – read more). I may read more of his stuff if I like this one, but just the title of this one is enough to warrant a place on my list.

While this book is focused on dreaming big in relation to doing God’s work and putting our trust in him, regardless of circumstances and resources, my personal lion for now is finishing a book. So the first item and the last item on my list are essentially the same thing – finish a book. We’ll have to see if I can do that in the next three hundred or so days.

Back to discombobulation. The pieces of my life are having difficulty going back into regular places, whether it is work, dealing with our still-new-to-us house, my participation in church activities like worship and life groups, my family (a wide-ranging and many-faceted topic), or other aspects of life that refuse to settle. I like regularity and dislike chaos, so this confusion and unsettling are…unsettling and confusing.

I hope that in the next few days I can get to a stasis point where my mind is reaching some kind of equilibrium. That would make moving into this new year and new decade a bit easier. I suspect some of my uneasiness relates to my rapid approach to the age of fifty, but I’ll deal with that thought in another post.

I also have to accept the fact that God may need me in a state of discombobulation so that I will learn something, or have something pruned from me that I need to discard. Unfortunately, only time will tell, and I’m pretty impatient, too. I guess I’ll have to deal with that in later post, also.

 

Photo credit – Photo by Gabriel Crismariu on Unsplash