What’s Going On

Est. Reading Time: 3 minutes

That title is dual purpose. In one sense, it has been six months and six days since I posted anything to this blog, so I am attempting to catch you up on what is going on in my life and the world (from my perspective). The other purpose is more disheartening, as I place a giant question mark at the end of that title and wonder in these paragraphs what is going on in our world. I thought 2023 was a crazy, depressing, unpredictable year, but its got nothing on 2024.

Before we dive into the insanity, I’ll catch you up quickly on what is going on with me. In January, I had surgery to treat my cancer, and my first tests post-surgery were encouraging. Of course, I am now obligated to repeat these tests every six months or so to make sure I remain a cancer survivor. I’m healing, but I predict I have several months to go before I arrive at what I believe to be normal (or close to normal).

Which brings me to explaining my new everyday prayer. Every morning, I wake and immediately pray for strength, patience, and focus. I generally receive the strength part, sometimes after effort. Many mornings I find myself trying to figure out a way to simply go back to bed, at least briefly. This comes and goes, with no real rhyme or reason that I can sense.

Patience is another story. Just like the worn-out saying, I want patience and I want it now. So many things do not just wear on my patience, but rip it away in seconds. Bad drivers on the way to work, persistent salesmen during the course of my workday, tense communications with friends and family, the inability to sit down and write anything (this missive is taking everything I have right now) and many other small, insignificant, obstacles all contribute to sudden fits of anger, frustration, and outright rage. I’m still working on patience and still praying for it.

Focus comes and goes. I have good days and bad days. Some days I can’t concentrate on any given task for more than five minutes, other days I can grind away at an endeavor for hours on end. I long for the days when I had a modicum of control over my attention and dedication. I don’t know if my lack of focus is some oddball side effect of my surgery (along with my still slightly numb fingers) or it is associated with aging in general, but it does seem to have intensified since my surgery. Although my inability to simply sit down and write has persisted since my mom passed in March of last year. This post is the most I have written in one sitting since (…checks website) Christmas Eve of last year. I should be pleased, as it represents progress. But it is probably fleeting.

Enough about my prayers for myself. I also lift prayers for our nation and world, although these must change periodically, as it seems things are just getting crazier. We have rampant antisemitism on our college campuses and elsewhere in this nation. That was not on my bingo card for 2024, although it should have been based on the events immediately following the Hamas terrorist invasion of Israel.

I knew this election year promised a lot of crazy, but to watch the president of the United States display his mental decline repeatedly, but most spectacularly and unequivocally during a debate with his political rival for the presidency, all while the White House and the main stream media assured us he was “sharp as a tack” when out of camera range has been shocking, but not surprising.

If you are a “normie” (a person who believes what they see with their own eyes and hear with their own ears, and can tell the difference between a man and a woman) you probably don’t mistrust or dislike the main stream media enough. I encourage you to get your news from places other than CNN, MSNBC, ABC, the New York Times, Washington Post and other compromised media outlets. This presidential campaign season has been a freight train of lies, exaggerations, and epic gaslighting. Don’t take my word for it…look into it yourself.

There’s more to discuss, but I am on my last strand of patience as I write this sentence. Maybe I will follow up soon. We’ll see.

A Christmas Eve Reflection

Est. Reading Time: 2 minutes

It’s Christmas Eve of this peculiarly horrendous 2023 year. I know I’m supposed to sit back and reflect on all of the good things that have happened and be joyous as I give gifts to others tomorrow. This will be be a true test of my ability to be joyous regardless of my current circumstances. There are myriad reasons to not be joyous, but I have to say, as I sang this morning during church the glorious Christmas song “Light of the World” and the less traditionally Christmas “God With Us” (although it is appropriate for this season) I felt a definite mix of sadness and joy.

This is my first Christmas without either my mother or my father, and it feels every bit as odd as I expected it to, maybe even more. As expected, the family is somewhat physically spread out across the country instead of being concentrated at my Mom’s house. Again, this was not unexpected, but it feels a bit more empty than I could imagine.

Pile on cancer, tax issues, dealing my Mom’s estate and the general state of the world and things start to weigh heavily. All you can do is grasp at the opportunities you have to reach out and be with people. This results in spending Christmas Eve playing Hand and Foot at our new friend’s house with other new and old friends. It was a time of good food, playful teasing, and honest sharing of experiences that shaped us as we grew up, leaving us all laughing, shaking our heads at ourselves, and realizing that we all need times just like this one. Times to share, times to relax, times to not worry about what someone else might think or say, as grace and mercy consumes any potential judgment.

Soon we will begin the new year. A year that will most certainly be fraught with conflict, strife, sacrifice, and hardship. But it should also be filled with resolution, productivity, recovery, and peace. Not so much peace in the world (highly unlikely), but the shalom peace granted by God through the Spirit that is available to us if we can discipline ourselves to accept it.

I’ll end this short little reflection with a traditional blessing offered in churches everywhere, all year long.

24 The Lord bless you and keep you;

25 the Lord make his face shine on you

and be gracious to you;

26 the Lord turn his face toward you

and give you peace.” ’

Numbers 6:24-26

21 Days of Posts – Day 21 – How Does Worship Music Affect The Service?

Est. Reading Time: 3 minutes

This is day twenty-one of twenty-one days of posts between January 10th and January 30th of 2021. This is the last day of the fast. Hello again to those who read previous days, and hello to those of you who may have stumbled across this post “out of order”. You should go back and read from Day 1, for a few reasons. It explains why I am doing this. It is the first one, and I may make reference to something in it in this post. It also has a list with each day’s post (once they are available) and you can jump to whatever topic you are interested in. Thanks for reading!

We made it! Day twenty-one has arrived and this is the last post in this series. This is the last official day of the fast, but the church doesn’t consider the fast over until noon tomorrow. That’s fair. I’ve written many times how music affects my mood and my thoughts, but this post will deal with how music affects the worship service, at least for me. Not everyone will feel the same way and some may feel that I am focusing on the wrong thing, but this is how I feel, so I thought I would share.

Continue reading “21 Days of Posts – Day 21 – How Does Worship Music Affect The Service?”

21 Days of Posts – Day 20 – Why Am I Writing A Fantasy Novel?

Est. Reading Time: 4 minutes

This is day twenty of twenty-one days of posts between January 10th and January 30th of 2021. Hello again to those who read previous days, and hello to those of you who may have stumbled across this post “out of order”. You should go back and read from Day 1, for a few reasons. It explains why I am doing this. It is the first one, and I may make reference to something in it in this post or a later one. It also has a list with each day’s post (once they are available) and you can jump to whatever topic you are interested in. Thanks for reading!

I wrote about this subject briefly back on Day 2 of this series. I mentioned that a fantasy novel was an ambitious project. I also mentioned that I like the freedom to make new rules and realities. All of that is true, but there is a deeper motivation and a cowardly avoidance behind my endeavor to write a fantasy novel.

Continue reading “21 Days of Posts – Day 20 – Why Am I Writing A Fantasy Novel?”