Category: Faith

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21 Days of Posts – Day 8 – Why I Write About Relationships

Est. Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

Day 8! Wasn’t sure it was going to happen, given the storms we had around here. Our power was out overnight and estimated to not be back until late tonight. Thankfully, it appears that Georgia Power was fairly conservative with their estimates, so this post will go out on time, which you know already, because your reading it now…aren’t you?

If I was brave enough to include anyone else besides my wife as a beta reader for my books, you would see a common pattern in my writing, whether it is my science fiction stories, my action/thrillers, my fantasy novel, or the others I have started. You would see that regardless of the background circumstances, one of the key elements of my works is relationships.

Duh, you say…all books are fundamentally about relationships. Without relationships, books are dull and characters are uninteresting. Why would I read a fiction book that did not include relationships of some kind? Relationships define characters, determine how characters react to circumstances, and become motivation for the main plot of the story. You can safely argue they are essential to any good story.

For me, as the author, there is more to it than that. I get to explore, in my head at least, and sometimes on the page, relationships that I’ve never experienced. I can write about brothers (I only have a sister). I can write about terrible parents (my parents are/were wonderful). I can write about love triangles, sacrificial relationships, codependent couples, lost spouses, whatever strikes my fancy and contributes to the story.

It’s not a requirement that I experience these things for real, just that I can dive into them in my head, and, thankfully, remove myself from them when I’m done writing about them. It’s another method of experiencing things I’ve never experienced, and frankly, probably don’t want to experience, in most cases.

Who would want to be the man or woman who loses a spouse, or the person whose parents were terrible, or that person stuck in a love triangle, codependent, or otherwise abusive relationship? But how much do eager readers gobble up those experiences in the form of fiction? We can look at the astonishing sales statistics for everything from the Twilight series to the Fifty Shades of Grey series and see how popular these pursuits of broken relationships are. Why?

We can ask fifty different people and get close to fifty different answers, but the bottom line is escape. Escape from this day-to-day life, which for most may not have a lot of excitement in it. This life may not be exactly what they envisioned and they are looking for…excitement? Catharsis? Escape? Romance? A redemption story? A happy ending? Something else?

As with all human pursuits that disregard God, some of the things these readers hope for are only ever fiction. They’re not becoming a vampire to love and live forever, or attracting the attention of a ludicrously rich love interest. However, within the will of God, we can get both of these things, if not exactly the same form as the rest of the world expects.

Our Christian life, lived within the will of God, will result in eternal life (thankfully, not as a vampire), and will connect us to the God to whom everything belongs, because he made it all. We might not gain access to all of that here in this life, but there are far better riches we inherit.

Am I saying that reading fiction is wrong? No, no, no no! There are great stories out there that will enrich our lives if we take the time to read them (or watch the movie), but realizing that the greatest story ever told, that of God and his redeeming love for us, is actually true should remain foremost in our minds as we enjoy the fruits of man’s writing labors.

Thanks for reading to the end! Tomorrow’s post returns to the Christian life, as i mentioned previously, diving into the differences in our plans and God’s plans.

 

Photo Credit – Photo by The HK Photo Company on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 7 – Disappointment

Est. Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

If you read the title, you’ll know that today’s topic is, as I mentioned at the end of Day 6’s article, definitely something we all experience from time to time – disappointment. It is as certain as the sign in the picture above.

Other people will disappoint us. That is frustrating. We will disappoint ourselves. That is even more frustrating. At least in the former instance, we had no real control over what the other person did, but we had complete control over what we did, so disappointing ourselves almost always is the more frustrating and infuriating feeling.

What do we do to disappoint ourselves? I can only really speak for myself, so here are some of my most disappointing actions, or inactions (mostly inactions).

  • Getting frustrated too easily with other drivers while driving. I truly over-react to other people’s driving. My family can attest. I’m always disappointed with both the other drivers’ actions or inactions, and my negative reaction.
  • Not posting regularly to my blog sites (this one and my other one). I am hoping to stop disappointing myself at the conclusion of this 21-day fast.
  • Not saying the right thing in my daily conversations. or not saying anything at all, thereby allowing the inclinations of others to dictate what divergent path our conversation takes.
  • Not immediately following the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit in my daily conversations and actions.
  • Not finishing a book…a HUGE, continuous disappointment.
  • Not “taking care of business” in relation to all the things that need done in our (still new to us) house.

It’s a short list, but chock full of typical ways I disappoint myself. You may relate to some of these examples, you may not. The best that I can do is get up the next day, promise myself I’ll do better, and move on.

But what does scripture say about disappointment?

There are a number of verses, particularly in Proverbs where the righteous are NOT disappointed, but the wicked are (10:28 and 11:23 in particular). Job also has some references to this same idea (11:20 and 20:18), but these are very situational.

Jeremiah ran into disappointment with his people over their sin (Jeremiah 8:15)

However…

In Psalms we see where there is assurance and declaration that God will not disappoint us (62:5) and in the New Testament, Peter tells us to cast all our anxiety on Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7) and we will not be disappointed by Him. In Romans we see the declaration that God works for the good of those who love him (8:28), so it is inferred that we should not expect to be disappointed.

But we might be…and bear with me on this point as I believe it is very important. For us humans, down here in the Lower Story, circumstances may occur which do not seem favorable to us (and very well may not be, by all practical measure) and we will want to be disappointed that God did not do for us what we believe he promised. But our definition of “good for us” and God’s definition of “good for us” tend to be very different things.

We have to keep that difference in mind as we move through this life. Yes, others will disappoint us, we will disappoint ourselves, but God will never disappoint us as long as we understand that his plans for us are better than our plans for us.

We’ll dive deeper into this idea two days from now, on Day 13. Tomorrow’s post will provide some insight into my writing process and style, but will unlikely be tied to an obvious spiritual point, but we’ll see.

Thank you for reading to the end! If you have missed any of these posts, you can simply walk back through the previous posts, but I suggest you start at Day 1, or whichever one you missed, and read them in chronological order, or some things may not make a lot of sense, or may seem out of place.

 

Photo Credit – Photo by Oscar Sutton on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 6 – Hope

Est. Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

Welcome, faithful reader! It’s now Day 6 of 21 days of Posts. Today’s post is about hope and could be the most difficult one I’ve written in this series.

If you went back to read Day 1 of this series, you know that I’ve been feeling quite unsettled this new year. Discombobulated is the term I used. I’m still there, and not really seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. I’m fairly certain it will pass…eventually, but for now, I’m counting myself confused and disoriented.

With that said, I hope that writing about hope will help bring this funkiness to a close soon.

It’s funny, or comforting, or amazing how God works sometimes. I started a new devotion series on Bible.com/YouVersion on Sunday, deep in the midst of my affliction. I had observed, to myself, that I had not been singing much lately, or even had good music listening sessions. I admit, many of the “new” songs on Way-FM are tiresome and remind me too much of bad pop music and I’ve not been listening to it lately. But at that moment on Sunday morning, I realized I had not had a real good listening session of really good music in weeks, aside from a short session of Christmas music while putting up the tree in December. Never mind a good sing.  I hadn’t sung…really sung, in many, many days.

So there I was, starting a devotion on hope, hoping to stir myself to some degree and what is the very first day of the devotion about? Singing. The actual title was “All Creation Sings” and it spoke of the fact that almost all creatures make noise while going about their lives – birds, whales, mice, wolves, crickets – on and on the list went. Many of these sounds are soothing or pleasant to human ears. Some are mournful, others are frightening. We don’t even know why some of these animals make their sounds. The devotion points out that God could have made all of these creatures mute and they would still perform their fundamental tasks, but in his wisdom, he did not.

It pleased God that he had made all these animals so they could sing and testify to their creator. The Bible says that “God saw that it was good” (Genesis 1:25).

It delights God when we sing to him. The praises of His people are a delight to him. Singing is good for us, as well. It can help us to have hope, to persevere. It can give us strength and motivation (Psalm 59:16).

It’s hard to feel down while singing the praises of God. As the devotion explained, singing encourages you and those around you (Colossians 3:16).

Singing is also warfare, claimed the devotion. See the story of the walls of Jericho (Joshua 6), or when Paul and Silas were in prison singing and the walls shook and the doors opened (Acts 16:25-26).

“Hallelujah!” I almost shouted, sitting at the table eating breakfast. I was excited. This devotion hit home with me and hope was peeking around the corner, urging me toward it, offering me an open, helping hand. I was amazed that this devotion, which I had picked almost at random, opened with an incredibly pertinent and resonating message of what I seemed to be missing.

I confess, unfortunately, that the thought and feeling did not last. I am certain it was my fault, but I still don’t know why it was so. All I know is that I sang not a word in service that Sunday. It was certainly not the fault of the musicians, or the song choices, or any other external influence. My throat felt physically choked off and dry. My lungs refused to gather within me enough air for anything more than just respiration. It was unsettling, as I love to sing in service. I was actually relieved when the worship music ended and Pastor began to speak. That’s just not me…

But I continue to reach for hope. I almost changed the topic for today’s post, but knew if I did, I would not move in the right direction mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. So I stuck with it, my post about hope, that thing I grasp for as I continue in this discombobulated state. I pray that none of you fall into this crevasse of confusion and disquiet and that your hope is strong, centered on Christ, and lifting you up every day.

Well…there’s the sixth of these 21 posts. Thank you for reading to the end, patient reader.

Come back tomorrow for a post about something we all experience from time to time.

 

Photo credit – Photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 5 – Writing

Est. Reading Time: 4 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

Writing. It has been described in a number of creative ways (imagine that), but my favorite description right now is captured in my email signature and goes as follows:

Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand. — George Orwell

I see where Orwell was coming from, and I, sadly, have not fully recovered from that painful illness, even though I have started down the path many times now. You would think I had developed an immunity by now. I have yet to complete a book. I have ten books in progress, at various stages of completion, from rough sketches to nearly completed first drafts. My wife begs me to complete something and I agree with her on that point.

But every November, I infect myself with a new bout of this painful illness by starting a new book for National Novel Writing Month. Every year I tell myself that this time I will be so interested and invested in my new creation that I will not stop writing even into December, into the new year, into the following spring, but it hasn’t happened yet. Invariably, I convince myself to just take a short break and start back up later in December, but the holidays wrap themselves around my intentions and violently smother them. Every year.

What do I get out of it, you might ask? First and foremost, expression. I can safely write about things I fear, like complicated relationships, impossible decisions, or crushing experiences resulting in broken characters. I can project my deepest, darkest fears onto characters and into situations without having to truly experience such things. Best of all, I can hide behind the well-worn mantra of “it’s just a story”.

Not that every crushing experience, impossible decision or complicated relationship is directly based on my personal life. It’s more like I take some of the experiences I have had and inject fiction steroids into them, wildly over-developing their worst aspects, resulting in some unsettling situations for my poor, broken characters, and for my adventurous readers.

Second, I can remove the restraints from my imagination and devise new technology, new challenges, or even entire worlds. I have to be careful in this though – I can get caught up in world-building and stop writing the actual story. It’s fun to create new things – races, currency, languages (those are tough), places, names, religions, or whatever. I believe the trick is making these imaginary things just similar enough to real things that the reader can make a connection, however tenuous. Lots of fun, but can be very hard and even get in the way of the story.

Third, I can make events, people, and circumstances occur, behave and twist exactly how I want them to. I know you’ve watched a movie or read a book and said to yourself, “why don’t they just do this?”. The simple answer to that question is that there would be no story if the answers to the character’s problems were simple, or that obvious. The reader has both the advantage of not being in the story and suffering under the characters’ circumstances, and the disadvantage of not being able to mold the narrative. They’re just along for the ride. They have to deal with every missed opportunity, or stupid decision the characters make.

But as a writer…I get to determine what happens. I get to throw a wrench into the works. I get control of the things I want and can make them as simple, complex, or stupid as I want, because it is my story. There is immense freedom in this, with only a small catch – I have to make it interesting for the reader. If the good guys always have a backup plan, or no one ever gets hurt, or there is no conflict the hero or heroine can’t handle, then it’s not a story any more. It’s just words on a page. If the story doesn’t make the reader desperate to turn to the next page, I’ve failed. But being the one in charge of it all is nice. I know my story from end to end, backwards and forwards, because I created it. I know the resolve of my heroine, the weaknesses of my hero, the next tragedy to strike. It boils down to a feeling of control. Control is nice.

We like to be in control (at least, most of us). But we know, in this life, we are not in control, and that can be scary. At least as Christians, we know who is in control, and we can rest in peace and contentment knowing that His plans are better than our plans, that he has plans to help us, not hurt us (Jeremiah 29:11). That’s not to say we won’t have pain or suffering in this life, but knowing that God is in control can help us through that pain. It’s been said that if God brings you to it, he’ll bring you through it, and at its foundation, this saying is absolutely true, but “getting through it” may mean something totally different to God than to us. We must be willing to let the author of the world work out his plan for our lives.

Thanks for reading to the end! Check back tomorrow as I expound on hope.

 

Photo Credit – Photo by Mona Eendra on Unsplash

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21 Days of Posts – Day 4 – Rejection

Est. Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hello to all who have decided to follow along as I post for 21 days straight as part of our church fast. As you can see, each entry is numbered as a particular day, so if you are reading this and the title above doesn’t say Day 1, then you should stop now and go read from Day 1, or take a peek at Day 2 and pick a topic you are interested in. Thanks for being brave enough to join me.

Hello, lucky reader! This post, like yesterday’s, also has a point, but it comes after considerable confession. Welcome to my head again…

Ever feel like those wads of paper in the picture above? They’ve been rejected, deemed unworthy to keep, not even as bad examples, just tossed out.

Rejection happens to everyone at some point in their life. Some of the most successful people on the planet have been rejected more times than they can count. I envy them.

I don’t envy them because they are successful. That’s not my problem. I envy them because they appear not to care they were rejected. They move through their lives with a positive tilt on their acceptance/”rejectance” meter, not because they haven’t been rejected, but because they overcame that to be…successful.

If you know me, you probably know I avoid confrontation at all costs. I hate confrontation. It makes my head spin and stomach queasy. I’ll accept poor service, bad food, bad deals, and more, just to avoid confrontation.

But there is one thing I hate worse than confrontation. You guessed it. It’s our topic of the day – rejection.

Every fiber of my being hates rejection and not just overt, intentional rejection (which is usually for a good reason). It’s the unintentional rejection that hurts even more. It’s the lack of enthusiasm for one of my ideas. It’s the “playing along so he’ll get it out of his system” rejection that crawls all over me and bruises my fragile ego. I’m not saying everyone has to agree with me all the time, far from it (and that would be a terrible thing to do), but reject me or my idea overtly and intentionally so I can at least be sure that is what is happening.

Because that is the crux of the matter, isn’t it? Those of us who hate rejection most likely are not rejected as much as we think we are. We imagine rejection by other people as the norm and assume it in every movement they make and everything they say, partially from past experience, partially from a lack of confidence in ourselves. That’s why including rejection in the building of a character in a novel is essential. Characters who haven’t been rejected, especially in a huge, impactful ways, haven’t suffered enough for most authors (or even some readers).

I know I sound certifiable at this point, but I promise it’s not so. When I concentrate and remember that there is someone who will never reject me (here comes the point!), that someone being Jesus, I am better able to let rejection, real or imagined, roll off my back like eggs off Teflon (wow, that’s an old reference – sorry). Jesus will never reject us if we come to him in repentance and commit to him (Psalm 94:14). It doesn’t matter what shape we are in at the time – hurting, angry, ashamed, or addicted (or all of these) – he will receive us with open arms, again and again and again.

Because we are real good at rejecting Jesus. When we choose our plans and our path over his plans and his path for us, we reject him, crumpling him up (as an idea in our head and heart) and tossing him away. It imagine it has to hurt him. Think about an exceptionally hurtful time you were rejected (just for a second) and imagine that happening over and over. That’s what I think Jesus feels every day from those who reject him, whether they do it maliciously or unthinkingly.

Rejection – it’s not just a character builder, it’s something I try to avoid. However, if we truly live the Christian life, we are guaranteed to be rejected (and hated) at some point. That’s scriptural – check out John 15:18-25.

Thanks for reading to the end! Check back tomorrow as I write about writing – what it means to me and what it allows me to do.

Photo Credit – Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

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